20th Anniversary Edition — Now with Five New Stories
For two decades, That’s What You Get for Running with Scissors has been the chaotic, hilarious, unfiltered handbook of the questionable choices women make in the name of “potential.” And for this special anniversary edition, five brand-new stories have been added—each more unhinged, relatable, and “girl… please” than the last.
 
Every story in this book is a gloriously exaggerated distortion of the things women do when love, lust, delusion, or a fine-looking man with poor communication skills walks into the room. We’ve all been there—building whole fairy tales off a glance, a vibe, or a man who can’t even locate his own emotional vocabulary. The goal? To make you laugh at how far our imaginations will run once we decide somebody might be a good idea.
 
Let’s be clear:

The women in these pages are not victims.
They are fully grown humans temporarily malfunctioning due to passion, hope, hormones, ego, or the illusion of love—take your pick.
And the men? Baby, they show up exactly as they are. No bashing required—they tell the truth, wave the red flags, drop the disclaimers, and still get chosen. (Is that a male bash? Absolutely not.)
 
Through every outrageous moment, you’ll recognize somebody you know—your friend, your auntie, your coworker, or possibly the woman reading this page right now. Each story is a reminder that our elders were right: you really can get hurt running with scissors… especially the emotional kind.
So apply the lessons to your own life. See the warning signs. And if you still decide to sprint full speed with sharp objects pointed straight at your own peace…
 
Well, that’s what you get.