Lies To Stop Telling Yourself When You’re The SidePiece

Sometimes love is blind, deaf, dumb and stupid especially when it comes to loving a married man. You have convinced yourself that you can't help who fall in love with and continue to live in a world of fairies and unicorns while wearing rose colored glasses. If you are a sidepiece, it is possible that you are subconsciously (or consciously) telling yourself these lies as alibis for your homewreaking operations (H.O.).

LIE: THAT YOU'RE JUST IN IT FOR THE SEX AND ARE, IN FACT, USING HIM.

If that were true, you would call the shots on when, where and how the sex would go down. Instead, you run when he calls, and you always ask how high to jump when he says so. If that were true, he would be waiting with baited breath for the opportunity to taste your cookies again. If that were true, he would be in the daylight with a flashlight looking for your ass. The truth is, you and the sex you offer are so insignificant that he doesn’t even need to continue lying to you about whether or not he’s still sleeping with his significant other. (But guess what? He is. And he never stopped.)

LIE: YOU'RE HIS ONE TRUE LOVE.

If that were true, he would be with you right now, the right way. Most affairs are amazing at the beginning because you don’t have all those responsibilities a normal couple has like bills, kids, mortgages. But, just like every beginning, this will come to an end too and even if now you do believe you are his true love, think about the fact that at a certain point in his life, his wife was his true love and that didn’t stop him from cheating on her.

LIE: THE GOOD OUTWEIGHS ALL THE BAD.

You are convinced the that sweet moments are more of a representative of your relationship and they outweigh all the shitty ones. If that were true, if the number of shitty moments are almost (or essentially) equal to the sweet moments, you’ve already got a problem. You’re not seeing him for who he really is— you’re rationalizing away your right to be hurt and angry for all the times he’s failed you. His gestures aren't organic — it’s reactive. He needs to keep you as an option and easily feels threatened whenever he’s not your priority, even though you are not his

LIE: THAT THE REASON YOU DON'T GO OUT AS MUCH ANYMORE — EVEN THOUGH YOU WANT TO — IS BECAUSE YOU COULD MISS A RARE OPPORTUNITY WHEN HE HAS TIME TO COME OVER.

You don't go out because there is a huge potential for him to get caught not by just his wife but maybe another sidepiece. Most sidepieces are often blinded by the feelings they have for that man and they just refuse to see the truth. You might want to believe you don’t go out that much is the fact that he cherishes the time he spends with you and that’s why he wants you to stay in, when in fact, he doesn’t want to risk getting seen with you in public and getting spotted by his girlfriend/wife/coworker/sibling/God/other sidepiece.

LIE: HE BUYS YOU THINGS BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU.

That you’re buying lots of material things because you like them, rather than the fact that you’re trying to fill the void in your life. Though it hurts to admit it, you know exactly what that void is and why you feel so empty, but you refuse to acknowledge that it’s because you don’t get enough of his time. You refuse to acknowledge that you could feel so incomplete without someone else, because you’re so independent and don’t “need” his love or attention, just his money. Truth is, we all need something, it’s okay to feel lonely, and it’s even more okay to want to stop feeling that way.

LIE: HIS WIFE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE HIM HAPPY.

Even if you believe that he is with you because he wasn’t satisfied in his marriage or that his wife is frigid, too demanding or even cold, you should know that these things are probably not true and it tells you that, he’s probably lying. Most of the time, the women who are being cheated on are wonderful, loving wives who are taking care of their families. You should start thinking that maybe the one with the problem is the guy you’re having that affair with and not his wife.

LIE: HE WILL LEAVE HIS FAMILY FOR ME.

This is another common lie women tell themselves when they are involved in an affair with a married man. Even if he does tell you that you are the most important person in his life and that he will leave his wife and kids so he will be with you, there are so many chances this isn’t true, thus never going to happen. In most cases, especially if there are kids involved, the husband will never leave his family. He will just tell you that so he will convince you to continue that affair.

LIE: THAT HE WILL LEAVE OR LOSE INTEREST IN YOU IF YOU DON'T DO THAT "THING" (that you hate… or at least don’t enjoy).

Let’s face it: he probably wants to do crazier shit with you because his actual significant other refuses to do it. Bonus douche points for him if he knows about this fear and exploits it.

LIE: THAT HE'S "LETTING YOU IN" MORE BECAUSE HE'S DOING SOMETHING HE NEVER DOES

Be faithful, planning a date for Friday night rather than Tuesday, finally lets you give him a hickey, spending the night, etc. What this REALLY means is that his SO is away, so he can do whatever the fuck he wants. She won’t know who he’s with when he goes out over the weekend (and will lie if she asks), and his hickey will heal by the time she returns.

LIE: NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU AS MUST, AS DEEPLY, OR AS PASSIONATELY AS HE DOES.

Guess what? Affairs are passionate. That’s kind of their thing. A man who strings you along for days, months, even years? A man who makes you doubt yourself and makes you feel like it’s reasonable to ask you to “wait” for your love to begin? Girl, that ain’t love. Yes, love is patient, but it’s also kind. It’s NOT kind — in fact, it’s downright cruel — to let you put your life on hold until it’s convenient for him to start reciprocating (and don’t hold your breath for that, either).

LIE: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT

This one is harsh, but needs to be shared: if you’ve been gaining weight, perhaps because you’ve been turning to food for comfort, your dude tells you that you’re beautiful no matter what, and that he actually loves your new curves. It’s totally possible that he still finds you attractive, but that’s not what compels him to share this sentiment. This move is deeply, painfully psychological. Even if he just subtly brings attention to your recent weight gain, it’s enough to get you to fixate on it. If he mentions it, he is looking for a smaller sidepiece.

LIE: HE WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ME

If hell freezes over and/or the stars align, and you have the chance to be with him, don’t. It’s cliché, but it’s true: if he can cheat WITH you, he can cheat ON you. And you can do so, so much better.

LIE: ONCE HE WILL LEAVE HIS WIFE, IT WILL BE JUST US.

Most of the times, the men who are leaving their family so that they could be with the other woman are quite guilt-ridden about losing their family soon after they did it. They often realize that it wasn’t a smart decision and that they’ve caused a lot of pain to their loved ones. Also, if he has kids from his former marriage, he will regret the fact that he won’t get to see them as much as he used to and in time, he might even blame you for that. Either way, if he has children, you will never be just the two of you, because you will have to share him with his former family and with his kids.

LIE: NO ONE WILL LOVE ME MORE THAN HE DOES.

If you think that no one will love you more than this man you’re having an affair with, then you should wonder if you have any problems with your self-esteem. Everyone deserves to be loved and even if he might tell you that you will never find somebody better, don’t believe him! There are a lot of great guys who will love for the wonderful person that you are, so stop hurting yourself and his family by being involved in such a thing.

LIE: HE MUST REALLY LOVE ME BECAUSE HE IS SO PASSIONATE.

Even though you might really think that he loves you because he’s always so passionate and that he shows his love by always doing all kinds of small affectionate gestures, be careful because you might get hurt. The thing with the affairs is that they are passionate; in fact this is the way they should be, so that’s why most people are tempted to cheat on their significant other: for the thrills. So, stop lying to yourself, because this isn’t love. It’s more like an adrenaline rush or pure physical attraction.

Affairs can always cause a lot of pain to all the people involved: to his family, to him and especially to you. If you’re tempted to take this step, think again and try to be rational. Find someone who really deserves you and who can really make you happy. Have you ever been the other woman? If so, what are the lies you often told yourself? Please share your opinion or your advice.

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